“You think you’ve been through things no one should have to go through? Well, I’ve felt things no one should have to feel.” People told me at 23 years old, “You are a vision of strength. You have wisdom beyond your years”. But the truth is I have two faces. One is the mask they see. The other is in this book. The one thing that connects them is also the one thing that hides my weaknesses. All of my secrets lie in my waterproof mascara. Chancey’s whole life has been a struggle of whether or not her father is her mother’s killer. It’s been a game, like tug of war. Her father against her mother’s side of my family, she was the rope. Growing up being bounced from house to house experiencing hate and emotional abuse, Chancey is forced to decide whose side she’s on. Until she is old enough to piece the pieces together of stories she’s been told about what really happened that night, from everyone she’s been raised by. The pieces to the mystery all point in one direction- her father. Could he really be capable of such a monstrous act? This man that raised her and comforted her? Her insecurities of her father’s past caused Chancey to question the real meaning of love, sending her in a tail spin of obsession to find a cure for her addiction to find the answer. Men became her answer. She became obsessed with volatile relationships because that’s where she felt the safest. After her romance ended with her high school sweetheart, Jason, Chancey met and married the man that took her most sacred possession; her virginity. Breck was active military leading them to move on a wild adventure to Alaska. But during their first year of marriage, what should have been their “honey moon phase” Chancey discovers Breck’s true colors. Their relationship turned to pure hatred and abuse until finally Chancey unlocks Breck’s deepest secret, ending their marriage. After being kicked out of the military, homeless, raped and doing anything she could to survive, Chancey started drowning in depression. She was alone, no mother, and no husband; a single mom with no support group. She became lost and found comfort in cutting herself; making her outside look as disgusting as she felt on the inside. She lost who she was, she forgot what she loved, and she hit her rock bottom. Until she fell in love with herself.